Lady Dragon Cracks Her Fic
by LadyDragon1316
Summary: *Crack fic* A certain lupus of a certain geographically central region of a certain Tamrielic continent is being troublesome. And a certain Lady has just about had it...just about... (inspired by one 'Zoop', who cracked her own fics first).


**Well this came out of me today. Not the first time I've been asked about Sharah. Hell, not the first time I've asked myself about Sharah. Well, this is the response.**

 **As mentioned in the summary, this was inspired by Zoop when she 'cracked her own fics'. Yes, that is a shameless plug. No, I don't give a flying leap if it is. Y'all want Sharah so badly? Well, here ya go!**

 **(Minor locational spoiler for the Wolf of Cyrodiil. You'll survive.)**

There were times when you had to approach a scene from multiple directions before you got it right. Times when a single page or paragraph needed multiple rewrites before it qualified as finished. Times when progress was achieved only through a long involved slog of reworking and pruning. But, by the end, it flowed, it sang, it danced forward with the grace of a seasoned ballet performer.

…But this was just ridiculous.

Lady Dragon paused in the chamber entrance and frowned. The space might as well have been a photograph for all it had _not_ changed in the least since she first saw it. The Lady sighed, frustrated, and strode in, not even needing the dim torch lighting to find her way to the centerpiece. She felt a stab in her forehead and forced herself to breath, exhale and calm…caaaaaaaalm…before knocking gently on the wooden paneling.

Of course, there was no response from inside.

Lady Dragon cleared her throat. "Your name showed up on a review again today." Still nothing. "For another character's story." Still nothing. "Deanne's story." Not a thing! Lady Dragon groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. She lifted up the top and glared inside. "Are you coming out, or what?"

Sharah the Wolf lay as still as the dead…except for the twitch of her lip, a smirk fighting to escape.

Lady Dragon growled and poked her. "Hey. You're not dead!"

"Looks like I'm dead," the 'corpse' retorted.

"You're not—Ugh!" Lady Dragon's hand met her own forehead with an audible 'smack'. "You've been in there—" She paused and checked the data sheet—then needed a double take. "Almost a year. A year!"

One of Sharah's eyes peaked open. "Really? How much more to go?"

Another smack to the Lady's forehead. She set her jaw, and took a pair of deep breaths while leaning against the side of the box. "Get out of the coffin."

"No."

"You need to get out."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do!"

"It's comfy."

"The storyboard is up!"

"Did it fall?"

"Sharah—!"

"My Lady?"

"Oh, do _not_ start with that!" Lady Dragon stabbed a finger at the Wolf. "A lot of people are waiting on you."

The Wolf smirked again and wiggled down into her cushions. "And we know they'll wait longer."

"Except why? Why should they have to wait? We know what happens! You know. I know. We've been through this six times. SIX!"

The Wolf shrugged. "I didn't like any of 'em."

"You didn't—" Lady Dragon pinched the bridge of her nose again. Through gritted teeth and painful politeness, she asked, "And what was wrong with those versions, pray tell?"

Another shrug.

"They were all basically the same!"

Another shrug. "I didn't like the details."

"The details!?" Lady Dragon changed a few shades of color and gripped the edge of the coffin hard enough to turn her knuckles white. "At this point, I'm tempted to just kill you and have done with it. You succumb to the blood loss at the end of the last chapter and that's it!"

The Wolf gave a truly wolfish smirk, and replied in a sing-song voice, "But you won't."

"I said _'tempted'_!"

Another smirk. "See? Details."

"Grrrr!" Lady Dragon mimed the clawing of her chest, then flung her hands skyward. "You know what? Fine. Fine! Stay in the coffin. I'll got other things to work on. _Deanne_ wants her story told. Maybe I'll even give that _other_ fandom the schedule slot they've been asking for. I have people who actually _want_ their stories told. When you're ready with 'details', come find me!"

Sharah lifted her hand in a non-comital wave. "Okay. Bye, bye." Lady Dragon threw up her hands again, spinning toward the door. From the coffin, "Tell that girl to jump his bones! Slow-burns are boring!"

"You can be such an ass sometimes!"

"But that's why you love me." And the Wolf reached up and pulled the lid shut on top of her.

Lady Dragon grumbled toward the door, pausing long enough to stab her finger at a living shadow in the corridor. "Keep an eye on her."

The shadow bowed, "Always, my Lady."

Lady Dragon rolled her eyes—"Ugh! You people…"—and stalked away through time and space.

 **You see what I have to deal with? Insufferable woman!**


End file.
